futility

she was your star, and around her we both spun

you as the earth to her fire

and me as the lonely moon, tugging at the waves inside you

when you turned your back to me, I wept in the cold of your shadow

for she alone held your light

now that she’s gone, we stay cold together

fumbling in the dark over wreckage we can’t forget

struggling to find light in the deadness

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violent means to a soft place

I don’t mind when it gets to be too much

When it hurts just a bit

I’ve learned to relax around the pain

How good it feels to be taken, to give in

Allow it to hurt

Allow myself to like it

 

And I can’t help myself

 

As maddening as you are, nothing keeps me tethered to this bed like those thick hands around my throat

 

You release, I flinch

Don’t make me beg for it

 

But then you clasp them around me once more

I watch you study me beneath you

Curious to see my struggle

Oh, but I’ve learned not to struggle, and I’m never afraid of you

I’ve learned not to fear

To let breath escape me, just for a time

 

I hear your breath quicken

Excited by my submission, the darkening of my face

I take one last look at you, what you’re doing to me

 

I couldn’t stop you if I tried

 

My body pinned while I escape

Into soft plumes, up, up

You release me again, just when I need you to

A single hand

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