The Leaving (Pt 2)

Sadness creeps in at the end of each day and I’ve got nothing and no one to save me. Can’t even rely on the self-pity that comes with mourning your give-a-fucks for me because I’ve known for a while now that you’re all out. Or maybe you never had them to begin with. Is the chair that sits next to me too uncomfortable for you?

You’re tired and time will just make you more tired. You’re tired of me being sad, I know you won’t come around when I feel crazy. There’s no more room for me to be anything but a delight, a pleasure. There’s no room for my darkness, no room for me to mess up and no shoulder to cry on.

You listen but you keep me at arm’s distance. I don’t know how to inhabit this space. It makes me hate you and it makes me hate myself. But when I leave you accuse me of not caring. You can’t see that I’m just trying to live somewhere that doesn’t hurt so much.

I’m alone. But maybe that’s what I need after all this time.

Peaches in Syrup

I want to lay back and spread my legs for a big man who’s hungry for me. I want him to use one of his strong hands to hold my legs apart while the other slaps his hard cock against my pussy, I want to see it smack against my wetness and pull some away with it. He likes that, and it makes him hungry. He kneels down and opens me up, looks between my legs with a watering mouth. I feel exposed, so deliciously vulnerable to him. A thumb passes over my wetness and slowly spreads it around while the other hand still holds my legs apart. He’s so gentle and so slow, he runs his thumb around in a horseshoe between my lips, evading that pretty little jewel that sits up top. He’s taking his time, letting me fall slowly into a heavenly delirium. He takes a lip between his and sucks at it gently, moving his mouth along it from bottom to top, letting it slip slowly from his lips, like I’m a juicy peach he wants to savor. Again and again he tastes me like this until I become swollen with lust for him. Slowly, he puts his thick tongue to my clit and purses his lips around it. He takes me into his warm mouth, suckling so gently I feel myself start to sink into the pleasure. Like drowning in the sweetest syrup. My head falls back, surrendering. He keeps his suckling steady and slow while he slips a finger inside me, feels my softness tighten around him. And then he eases in another, gently fucking me with his fingers while his mouth is content to softly tug at me again and again.

violent means to a soft place

I don’t mind when it gets to be too much

When it hurts just a bit

I’ve learned to relax around the pain

How good it feels to be taken, to give in

Allow it to hurt

Allow myself to like it

 

And I can’t help myself

 

As maddening as you are, nothing keeps me tethered to this bed like those thick hands around my throat

 

You release, I flinch

Don’t make me beg for it

 

But then you clasp them around me once more

I watch you study me beneath you

Curious to see my struggle

Oh, but I’ve learned not to struggle, and I’m never afraid of you

I’ve learned not to fear

To let breath escape me, just for a time

 

I hear your breath quicken

Excited by my submission, the darkening of my face

I take one last look at you, what you’re doing to me

 

I couldn’t stop you if I tried

 

My body pinned while I escape

Into soft plumes, up, up

You release me again, just when I need you to

A single hand

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